Day 16: harness positive emotions
Welcome to Day 16 of Confidence Boot Camp. We are so happy that you have tuned in today for our next installment of confidence tips. Today we are talking about the power of harnessing positive emotions.
We are pleased to welcome Tara Wood as our guest poster. Tara is a freelance writer, wife, and mom of 7 children. She writes about the day-to-day comedies of being a WAHM with her sizeable brood, and funny stuff she encounters in the world. She has a humorous and irreverent outlook on life and we can see how that helps her stay positive and enjoy each day.
We absolutely love Tara's fun and salty approach to life, and hope you do, too.
The Power of Harnessing Positive Emotions
By Tara Wood
You know those people who seem to be perpetually happy? Like, even on Monday mornings or at funerals they still manage to find something about which to be positive? Blech. *Insert eye roll here* The thing is, though, I’m one of those people and I dig it. So what gives? How can some of us have the same or similar experiences as contented people but have a much more negative reaction?
There are those who are naturally wired this way. More often, however, people who tend to have a ‘feel good’ attitude about life have learned there is great strength in deliberately choosing positive emotions; even when a negative emotional reaction to situations or circumstances feels the most instinctive.
Although I’m a typically joyful person, to tell you that I’m always carefree and skipping across rainbows with puppies in my pockets would make me a lying liar.
In truth, I decide to make happiness, fun, and positivity my reality. I have just as many negative emotions and reactions as anyone else (I have seven children so you can imagine, right?) but instead of allowing pessimistic thinking determine my reactions, I choose to remind myself that negative feelings exist so help me recognize that positive emotions feel better.
When negative emotions show up, I acknowledge they’re there but I don’t allow myself to give power to those thoughts. I sever negative self-talk as soon as it makes its appearance. Contrary self talk should indicate to us that something isn’t right, that there is resistance. We can use our recognition of unfavorable emotions to identify what we don’t want. It is in knowing what we don’t want that the understanding of what we do want becomes clear.
Understand that you cannot get to where you want to go while you’re focused on where you are not. Apply your attention to that which you want instead of that what you do not yet have. To do this will likely require that you make peace with where you are now, with what is.Practice who you are: the creator and dictator of your thoughts and reality. You are not powerless over your emotions. In fact, you control them.
Choose your thoughts and reactions based on how you feel. If you’re struggling to dismiss negative emotions, ask yourself “Is this something that I want?” If it’s not, take a step back and let the situation lie dormant if it doesn’t feel good or right. Focusing on something negative only breeds more negativity. You cannot focus on negative things and positive things at the same time. One thought process will win. I’m pretty sure you’ll want it to be the one the makes you feel good.
And hey- give yourself a break. Remember that nothing has to remain as it is. Every morning offers a new beginning to start anew, to crush self-doubt, to think lovelier thoughts, to live a more joyful life.
It is your right to feel valued and worthy and deserving...because you are. YOU are.
Let that be enough. Let that satisfy you. When you learn to harness the power of positive emotions and allow affirmative and optimistic self-talk to overpower those negative emotions that try to steal your bliss and distract you from this fun and beautiful life you were created to live, then you can have your happily ever after.
Tara's post is a great time to connect the dots on the many tools we have learned so far in Confidence Boot Camp. Let's put some things into practice, shall we? Make sure you record these thoughts in your journal.
1. Think about a recent time in your life where you felt really good. What had you done to put yourself in that frame of mind? Write your experience in your journal.
2. Now think about the last few days. Was there a time you let your lizard get the best of you? What could you have done to nip that negative self talk in the bud? Did you use a trampoline to boost yourself above the line? If no, what could you have used for a trampoline? How could you have harnessed your positive emotions at that time?
3. Think forward to something you have coming up in the next week-something that you want to go well and be a positive experience. Think about what kind of energy you want to bring to that event. Make a plan for how you will prepare to bring that energy.
For example: Let's say the weekend is coming up and you are planning a barbecue with family and friends. You know that you have a few guests in your group that can sometimes bring the energy down with negativity and topics of discussion that cause people to feel defensive. You know that you and others are frequently affected by this and you don't want this to disrupt your event. What will you do to manage your own positivity?
I might make sure that I plan my day out so that I am not already stressed out when the event time comes up. I also put myself in the mindset that no matter what happens I will have a good time and enjoy my company.
I will also make sure that I address any negative conversations in a friendly and non-confrontational way. I have a very wise friend that will do this in the loveliest way. She says, "Oh, no, no, dear, let's not go there. That puts distance between us and I want us to be close."
You can use whatever wording works for you!
Make sure to follow Tara Wood on her social media accounts for her amusing real talk. She tells it like it is and isn't afraid to laugh at life's zaniness.
FaceBook Page: @TaraWoodWriter
FaceBook Profile: @Tara.Rountreewood
We will see you tomorrow! You've got this, Confidence Campers!
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